ScreenJesus - What Is It?

How the hell did they come up with the name ScreenJesus?

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Although this topic was a bit old (a few months old at this point), I need some new content for the site. I'm a desperate man come on. So ScreenJesus, what is it? ScreenJesus is the API that Neocities uses to generate the thumbnail for it's sites. It's technically a browser but it's not used for surfin' the Internet. This blog post was made to inform you about not only the existence of ScreenJesus but more about it.

My Approach

So I've set up a sort of "trap" for ScreenJesus. I made a page to give all the information a browser could possible give. I couldn't use any WebAPI like the HTML Geolocation API as it would require permission, which ScreenJesus cannot give. And with my custom Neocities thumbnail code, ScreenJesus would take a screenshot of the page (which would contain information on the browser), and put it as the site thumbnail.

Findings

So what did I find? The useragent of is Screenjesus, the operating system on Linux x86_64, has 4GB of available memory, and has 8 logical processors. It seems that Neocities uses Vultr, a cloud server provider with KVM's (Kernal based virtual machines). So the IP Address changes all the time. The last recorded IP Address was 45.76.10.39 and the last recorded hostname was 45.76.10.39.vultrusercontent.com. Although the IP Address changes time to time, all of the IP Address locate to the address: 2 Corporate Pl, Piscataway, NJ 08854. Vultr offers services in the New York City area, so this is probably the reason why.

-ariu, 10/14/2024